Unwritten part1

then, I was there standing paralized like cold water it felt under my clothes,

I couldnt believe it, but it was completly true, he was gone.

I walked a few meters ahead until I was able to see trought the window, the empty walls showed nothing but a dusty layer and pale squares on the places the old pictures were hanging from.

I tryed to find an open window but there was nothing, everything was closed and I didnt know why it seemed so important to get inside, as if there was a trace of him on the floor, as if I could find something else there for me, something to hold on to.

After a couple hours I went back home, i tooke the long way there, the slowest bus, and by 10 pm I was back on my house, i try to keep the tears inside so my mother didnt see anything, hoping to sound normally.

' Alex, is that you" mom said, "yes, mom, hi" I answered wishing she didnt ask or want anything else, there were times when she wanted me to stay with her, or bring her something, so hopefully, not this time, she said again, " are you going to sleep now?" jumm, I didn knew what to say, dreaming will keep me thinking, dreaming, crying, I needed something else, something really empty and cold that didnt needed you to give anything in return, "Im gonna watch some tv, Im not sleepy yet" ... theres something about the tv, you can spend hours in front of it, and never really think or do anything positive, just seen. " ok honey, have a good night, Im gonna sleep now". And that was all I could hear from her that night.

After 2 hours of watching tv, i started to flip the remote trough my fingers, trying to keep it up and not making a huge noise when it felt down.

it was 2 am when i finally decided to go to bed, I felt sleepy and really tired, like I was carring a big bag over my head, so tired that maybe it will helpme not to dream.

by Lexi